Vancouver Secrets

Shoot The Messenger

Winnipeg Free Press:

Students who filmed two suspended teachers performing a lap dance at Churchill High School and posted the event online could face serious disciplinary action.

The students appear to have violated Winnipeg School Division’s zero-tolerance policies forbidding use of cellphone cameras and other devices in schools.

School board chairwoman Jackie Sneesby refused to rule out punishment for the students Monday.

“We haven’t finished the investigation. It (disciplining students) hasn’t been discussed yet,” Sneesby said in an interview. “It isn’t anything we would do without thinking about it.”

Teachers Chrystie Fitchner and Adeil Ahmed have been suspended with pay after being filmed performing a lap dance — including simulated oral sex — at a school spirit event in the school gym two weeks ago.

Sneesby would only say the senior administration’s investigation was not completed yet.

Great case of diverting the attention to the victims.

Hottest Commodity For The 2010 Olympics In Vancouver

Was just a matter of time until someone figured out how to cash in on our games. They are selling the rarest commodity there is for the 2010 Olympics.

Happy bidding.

Saskatchewan Throwing Millions At Our Olympics

The story that has some in Saskatchewan up-in-arms is that they are over budget and spending 4.1 million on the pavillion for the 2010 Winter Games.  Saskatchewan’s total expenditure for the games is $7.2 million.

Let’s keep things in perspective:

- It’s only $7 per resident of Saskatchewan, or 50 cents per gopher.

- Saskatchewan is fast becoming Canada’s hotspot for tourism.

Brent: Want me to fill it up?
Man: Sure. You know I’ve never driven across Saskatchewan before.
Brent: Well, you still haven’t really. About halfway to go yet.
Man: Sure is flat.
Brent: How do you mean?
Man: You know, flat. Nothing to see.
Brent: What do you mean, like topographically? Hey Hank, this guy says Saskatchewan is flat.
Hank: How do you mean?
Brent: Topographically, I guess. He says there’s nothin’ to see.
Hank: There’s lots to see. There’s nothin’ to block your view.
Brent: There’s lots to see. Nothin’ to block your view. Like the mountains back there. They’re uh… Well, what the hell? I could’ve sworn there was a big mountain range back there. Juttin’ up into the sky all purple and majestic. I must be thinkin’ of a postcard I saw or somethin’. Hey, it is kinda flat, thanks for pointin’ that out.
Man: You guys always this sarcastic?
Brent: Nothin’ else to do.

Source- Corner Gas

- It’s a great excuse to spend 700K on high-definition images of the province. (See above photo).

- If Saskatchewan manages to convince at least 100 families (realistic) to vacation in the province, it will only cost $70,000 per family.

This comment on the Leader Post’s story says it all:

Oh my there are a bunch of whiners. Canada gets the oppertunity to  be on the world stage for the 1st time in 22 years and people are complaining that we want to showcase Saskatchewan to the world?

We actually do have a tourist industry here, whether you believe it or not. This can and will help tourism. I’ll bet half of you haters don’t even know that we have white water rafting on this province. Some of the best hunting and fishing (although I don’t like either) in the world.

4.1 mill is tiny for this kind of advertising. And before you all bash, I actually am a NDP supporter, but I also believe in taking advantage of opportunity when it arrises.

They can raise our taxes by $10.00 this year and it’s paid for. Relax, it’s not that much.

By the way, you do know that our neighbors in Manitoba are spending more. All provinces except NB are having pavillions.

Or this one:

Why do all the tax dollars always have to go towards the poor?  What have the poor people ever done for us? It’s nice that the tax dollars get spent on entertainment once and awhile.  I work hard and pay lots of taxes – it’s nice that I get to enjoy them once in awhile instead of seeing that money wasted on useless people who are too lazy find a job and work hard.

Thanks Saskatchewan for helping us out.

Don’t let “oppertunity” pass you by.

photo credit: Jordon

A Democrat Reaction – The Worst Quote.

Chris Van Hollen, chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee had this to say about Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat election being won by a Republican…

’Why would you hand the keys to the car back to the same guys whose policies drove the economy into the ditch and then walked away from the scene of the accident? For the Republicans to say vote for us and bring back the guys who got us into this mess in the first place, I don’t think it’s a winner.’”

Remarkably, Van Hollen saw neither the irony nor the absurdity of his statement.

The photo above was taken at the Chappaquidick bridge that was the last time anyone gave Ted Kennedy the keys to the car.

Real men of genius.

h/t

Happy dance here.

The Worst Acceptance Speech Ever

A train wreck at best, Mariah Carey with too much to drink stole the show at the Palm Springs International Film Festival after being named Breakthrough Actress for her role in the movie ‘Precious.’

She is precious…

California Bus Crash – Quite a Scene

N(quite)SFW: The VH1 reality show will be set back by this crash… and California wasn’t ready for this.

Classic Hockey Fights

I miss Bob Probert.. hockey hasn’t been the same.

Then the legendary Flyers.. Dave Schultz was a one-of-a-kind.

2010 – The Obama Zone

It’s not going away. Rod Serling takes you on a tour. Scary stiff kids.

Tiger Woods Leaked Video

Last funny of the year… Tiger has game.

Leaked Tiger Woods Mistress Sex Tape – Watch more Other Funny Stuff

Guide For US Airport Security

The airport security seems to have a little trouble picking out the potential threats to America…

Here’s a quick test… pick out the terrorist:

Or maybe this one:

Then we have the typical candidate for searches:

Getting warmer:

Or how about these happy vacationers? They all have something in common.

I know, it’s tough to pick out the possible suspects. Hope this guide will help.

As India Silently Suffers

Useless Knowledge from The BBC:

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, down to the last millimetre.

The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

Doctor Chander Puri, a specialist in reproductive health at the Indian Council of Medical Research, told the BBC there was an obvious need in India for custom-made condoms, as most of those currently on sale are too large.

The issue is serious because about one in every five times a condom is used in India it either falls off or tears, an extremely high failure rate. And the country already has the highest number of HIV infections of any nation.

Mr Puri said that since Indians would be embarrassed about going to a chemist to ask for smaller condoms there should be vending machines dispensing different sizes all around the country.

“Smaller condoms are on sale in India. But there is a lack of awareness that different sizes are available. There is anxiety talking about the issue. And normally one feels shy to go to a chemist’s shop and ask for a smaller size condom.”

But Indian men need not be concerned about measuring up internationally according to Sunil Mehra, the former editor of the Indian version of the men’s magazine Maxim.

“It’s not size, it’s what you do with it that matters,” he said.

photo credit: The Rocketeer

Democrats Gone Wild

James Traficant – The Hunter Thompson of politics.

The former Democratic Representative in the United States Congress from Ohio (from 1985 to 2002).

He was expelled after being convicted of taking bribes, filing false tax returns, racketeering, and forcing his aides to perform chores at his farm in Ohio and on his houseboat in Washington, D.C., and was released from prison on September 2, 2009, after serving a seven-year sentence.

Holiday Ideas For Atheists

I always feel sorry for atheists this time of year. They are missing out on the Christmas festivities and the sense of optimism that comes with it.

Thankfully the Costanzas shared an alternative to Christmas traditions and it looks like it has been soundly embraced.

To really throw a Festivus in style, get your pole here.

The main elements of Festivus from Wikipedia:

The Festivus Pole

The tradition begins with a bare aluminum pole, which Frank praises for its “very high strength-to-weight ratio.” During Festivus, an unadorned aluminum pole is displayed, apparently in opposition to the commercialization of highly decorated Christmas trees, and because the holiday’s creator, Frank Costanza, “find[s] tinsel distracting.”

Local customs vary and you may be able to decorate your pole with non-threatening plain decorations, or ordinary green garland.

The Airing of Grievances

At the Festivus dinner — a meal featuring non-holiday comfort food — each participant tells friends and family all of the instances where they disappointed him or her that year.

The Feats of Strength

The head of the family tests his or her strength against one participant of the head’s choosing. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned to the ground. A participant is allowed to decline to attempt to pin the head of the family only if they have something better to do instead.

This video will guide you through the tradition and the rituals of Festivus:

When Santa Attacks

Santa Cookies.. enjoy.

Merry Christmas

It’s Ice Fishing Season in Canada

Sunday Funny… how they find fish  in Northern Ontario.

South Park Not Available In England

Poor Tesco.. they walked right into it. First, here’s what happened after a South park episode last year

BBC: British Tesco’s Christmas card was taken off the shelves in York, England, after customers complained that it made fun of redheads, or “gingers” as the Brits call them.

The card showed a little redhead kid sitting on Santa’s lap with text that read: “Santa loves all kids. Even ginger ones.”

One redhead woman saw it and said: “I thought maybe it was just me because I am a mother of kids with red hair, but a lot of my friends and other people I know, we are absolutely disgusted. Society comes down hard on how people look and there are so many children these days who are bullied because of how they look. If the card had been about an overweight child then the shop would have been shut down, and so would the people who made the card.”

Save A Ginger… Santa would ask as much.

Why Is Everyone So Interested In Obama Smoking?

Odd thing today – I have had over 100 people show up as a result of image search for “Obama Smoking“.

So, to help out all these people find what they are after, here’s my ode to Obama Smoking:

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Plus Bonus Video: